July 2023
 
Today, I would rate my cooking confidence at a 8.5/10. Two years ago, my confidence rating was -45/10. It was oddly one of my deepest insecurities. Because I saw my mom, my friends’ moms, all my aunts effortlessly prepare meals for the family day in and day out, I just attributed it to being a characteristic of being a good homemaker. I could only make some very basic things and cooking for other people just gave me anxiety, so cooking as a whole just seemed so unappealing.
 
Growing up, cooking was my mom’s thing and I solely focused on school. In university, going to the grocery store was a whole endeavour involving taking buses and walking for blocks carrying heavy bags. As I graduated and started working, getting a foothold in my career and maximising my limited free time on my social life were my priorities. Yet throughout those years, I was exposed to great food. I was a waitress at some great restaurants (Japanese, Mexican, fine-dining) and always lived with various roommates who were excellent at cooking.  At one point, I lived with an incredible pastry chef and because she was well connected with all the best chefs in Calgary I couldn't help but be drawn in as well.
 
I’ve always been an occupied person, and between my career, passion projects and my personal relationships, I couldn’t find space in my life for cooking. I also thought I was inherently bad at cooking, so why bother. Then I watched this Netflix series called, Chef’s Table. The series  documents the careers of Michelin star chefs and I was largely surprised that the majority of them started their careers as ‘sub-par cooks’. It was through practice and patience and following in love with the process, that they were able to excel.
 
What I love about cooking is it really is both technical and a feeling. It engages all your senses - Taste, touch, visual, smell, intuition. It becomes a state of flow. But to get there, the foundational techniques have to be in place. Since I enjoy skiing and yoga, and know technique is important and that small adjustments make the biggest difference, I apply that same mentality with cooking. You have to think about it before it becomes muscle memory and then it becomes that feeling. That’s where the fun begins. 
 
What I also love about cooking is exploration. Did you know that Michael Pollan recommends eating over 30 different types of vegetables in a week to promote gut health? For me, I love exploring new ingredients, new dishes, new cultures. It’s like discovering a new movie or song for the first time. A real dopamine rush. New tastes give me that rush. 
 
What I also love about cooking is that it promotes good health. Having a chronic illness, like lupus, has made me very attentive to my health. Food can either work for you or against you. It was important to me to be healthy, feel my best and to sustain the energy I need to perform and live an active lifestyle. 
 
Lastly, what I also love about cooking is it is a great medium for social connection. Some of my best memories are sharing dinner with people at a restaurant, a home cooked meal, over the campfire, at a park, on a mountain summit, on a beach, at a farmer’s market etc.  Most importantly, it has deepened my connections to my mom and sister. I send them photos of things I make and sometimes call them when I need some advice. When I go home, it’s a real joy when my family and I can spend the evening cooking together. You can cultivate  great relationships and lifelong memories using food as your bridge.